A Few Aardvarks Short of a Herd

That's how it works sometimes. It's all going well and then...shit--you're a few aardvarks short of a herd. Technically an "armory" of Aardvarks is the collective noun, but it makes no sense to me and "herd" sounds better. Oh, if you ever want to figure out what a group of some kind of animal is called, that's the trick. Just search up "collective noun for..." A pride of lions, a murder of crows, a luck of dice, a wiggle of Elvis impersonators, a wince of dentists, a rash of dermatologists...

Anyways, I'm feeling all aardvarky at the moment. They're kind of badass, but weird and a bit ugly in a sort of cute way. They're a nerd in the animal world. Friends while you write the software they want, but the rest of the time it's just "hey, how ya doin'." Got ants? Then you don't. See you later. It's just not in the budget.

Ever think about how aardvarks digest their food? Hmm. They have a gizzard like some birds and grind things up in their stomach. Didn't really expect that. That's the way it is with aardvarks. We see a few pictures, make some assumptions and that's about all the more we care about them. We know they might have more going on, but leave it at that. There are more interesting animals, such as salespeople and cheetahs, more worthy of our attention.

How are aardvarks badass you say? Would you walk into a...hmm, army/nest/swarm/colony of soldier ants, fuck shit up and eat lunch? It's one of those revered by African tribes things. (It's true.) It's also said they taste like pork. No respect. They're the only living members of one of those biological family and order classifications. They've been around so long there are fossils of them. You're either lucky or doing something right if that happens. At least that should be some consolation.

I don't know about you, but I wish people would stop and consider the aardvarks around them a little more. That's probably all it would take. In the end, an individual aardvark may be badass, but a herd is mighty.